I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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