Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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