Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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