tell your sister to shave her snatch
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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