I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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