Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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