i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
