I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize