brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
