He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
