You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
