Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
