Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
