If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
