Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wear drunk well.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
