My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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