can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
there is glitter all over my balls
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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