i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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