She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize