Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
