Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
handjob tips. give me some.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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