so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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