don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I party with great urgency now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
