On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
