who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
