You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
