It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
