He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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