She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
