let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
