oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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