I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
