Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize