He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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