Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No I am not eating basil off your cock
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
