so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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