1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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