i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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