Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize