Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
