There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
