He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
