If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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