she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
