Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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