just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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