that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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