Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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