I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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