alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
