Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
