i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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