when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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