Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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