how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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