Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
