bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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