then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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