Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize