With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
