I need help removing her.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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