I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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