Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
