We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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