How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
