lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize