Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
